A Letter to Louis

It’s really hard to maintain friendships and this seems to grow with intensity and difficulty as you get older. I want you to know that it’s totally fine to have a friendship cull from time to time, to make sure that you are surrounded by good people that contribute to your existence.

Here’s an example of how one might bin someone off…

This makes me very sad, but I’m not going to contact you again. 

As I’m sure you can imagine, I’ve been thinking about my life quite a lot over the last few weeks and as a result have been able to get absolute clarity on what I want from my future.

I would love to have you in my life as a friend, but time and time again you show me that is not what you want, either by verbally abusing me on the phone or ignoring my messages. That’s fine, I get it. Sorry for being such a nuisance to you.

You know that I worry when you don’t reply to messages or emails, and you also know I hate being ignored. I know you are having a really tough time at the moment (to say the least), but there’s absolutely nothing I can do to support you, if you keep shutting me out. I still have some self respect left, so I think it’s best if I delete your contact details so that I can stop feeling like I’m harassing you – clearly you do not want to hear from me. I get the hint!

It’s such a shame (for me), as you are one of my favourite people in the world and I had hoped to hang out with you some more, especially after all the laughs and lunacy that we’d already shared. However, as we both know, you don’t always get what you want in life and so I’ll focus my energy on my many other friendships.

Thank you for everything over the past few years. I genuinely meant it when I said that I’m a better person as a result of having met you. I have been overwhelmed by your generosity in terms of advice and the time you’ve given listening to me. Thank you from the bottom of my heart, as I don’t think I would still be here without you.

Take care and for fucks sake get some help for your mental illness. Embrace your emotions and seek professional advice.

Much love always,
S
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